Although a few things have been going on recently one thing has been seeping into everything I do in the last week.
In the last month I have started to attend a local crochet group which has been fantastic, especially as most new mothers know having a young child can be very isolating especially as I didn’t know many people in the area in the first place, and although I have wonderful friends who have made a real effort to come and see me on a regular basis I do miss having people I can just drop in for a cup of tea with. So the group meant I was getting a chance to meet more people from the local area, unfortunately from the very first meeting I had trouble on the way home.
Now I have been large all my life and have over the years been subjected to abuse in the street, I have learnt to ignore it quite successfully to a point that I don’t really hear it, I am not saying that I approve of this behaviour in any way shape or form but as some one who stands out from the so called ‘norm’ there are uneducated people out there whose only way of dealing with things beyond there understanding is by attacking it. I guess it could also be said that I choose not to conform, but this is a much bigger discussion for another time.
Well as I was saying every night on the walk down to the bus stop I recieved verbal abuse from a passing car, besides making me jump a little I ignored it, although its unusual for it to be as regular as this (same time and same place every week) on the whole its not unknown, this last Friday was different though.
I had a wonderful time as normal with the ladies and walked to the bottom of the road with one of them where we go in different directions, I only have about 50m, if that to walk to the bus stop from there, 10m down the road I heard abuse being yelled at me from a silver Chrysler car, I cant tell you exactly what they said as I didn’t pay it much attention but was the normal expletives about my size, I carried on walking down to the bus stop which is in a busy residential road, and sat at the bus stop on my own, two minutes later I felt a pain in my upper right arm and a loud noise and looked up to see the same car driving off, apparently abuse wasn’t enough for them any more, after the shock had worn off a little I worked out that they had gone and purchased eggs and had used them as drive by missiles, thankfully only one had made contact although this left a very large bruise as they had been thrown with quite a large amount of aggression.
I know to some people this sounds funny and use the term ‘oh it was just boys having a laugh’ well those ‘boys’ have now stopped me going back to the group as to be honest I am scared that next time it wont be eggs they throw.
The worse thing about all of this for me is that they have won, I have spent my life not allowing people to limit what I can do and hopefully passing that on to all the young people I have worked with over the years but I have no one to stand up against here, they are such cowards they hide in a fast car, it has made me question a lot of things but I am trying not to let them win in any other way.